8 Reasons I Loathe Valentine's Day

Seriously, it's a day that glorifies unimaginative expressions of love.

8) The looks from couples as I walk down the street alone

Do guys get looked at like they must be defective in some way when they walk down the street alone on Valentine's Day? Is it really so terrible to be independent? I thoroughly enjoy not having to generate chit-chat about pop culture solely for the sake of producing continuous sounds, so as not to eat in silence.

7) The cost

Let's be real. A lot of journalists would probably qualify for food stamps if we could swallow our pride and apply for them. Our nomadic sense of adventure is often indulged by those who want us to eloquently articulate their activities, so we get into a lot of stuff for free. But that's just free stuff for one. And maybe a camera guy. Getting into a four-course dinner at a fancy French restaurant with a date is probably out of the question. 

6) The mating calls

Is it me, or do all the old lovers come out of the woodwork on Valentine's Day? My phone has been blowing up like it's a speaker in a Ke$ha video. 

5) The underwear

Who the hell deemed lace sexy? 

4) Crowds

All the good places to eat are going to be crowded with people desperate to get their partner intoxicated so they can increase their odds of getting a shot at doing the humpty dance. I'm never going to get a table on Valentine's Day, unless I reserve it a week in advance.  On top of that, pun unintentional, even if you don't go to restaurants, the lines at the grocery stores are horrendous in the three days leading up to V Day. You can't get to where you need to go inside the store, because the line for the florist snakes back to the frozen food section, and everyone HAS to have a cart. A friend of mine once climbed over a display of chocolate to circumvent the crowd and get to the deli.

3) Chocolate

I'm lactose intolerant—plus, chocolate has a billion calories that I feel I have to burn off on the treadmill later. Oh yea, and then there's the whole .

2) The implication that a bonded pair > than a single free radical

1) The sense of obligation

Whether you're in a relationship or not, there's a feeling of societal pressure that begins to rain from the word clouds the week before Valentine's Day. Where to eat? Who to ask out? Do you have someone to ask out?  Hallmark forbid that you spend the day alone packing for a business trip to New York, or doing something else that might contribute to society in a meaningful way, or just going to a beach and throwing rocks at the ocean. Yea, that's what I'll do tonight. My Valentine's Day is going to rock.

Phyllis McArthur February 15, 2011 at 01:15 AM
Vannessa this was really funny, I almost choke on my prune juice reading this!!! Lace is awful.... itchy...
Maria Anna Esparza February 15, 2011 at 01:54 AM
This was hilarious! I loved it! To me, Valentines' day is a day to remind me to tell all my friends and family that I love them, not just a significant other. But I totally get what you say when people think they have to have a hot date on Valentine's day. It's like the homecoming in high school....everyone thinks you HAVE to have a mum or you are nobody. (that old song "you are nobody til somebody loves you" sounds good but it is not true) I contacted an old friend today to wish her a happy vals day and she was bummed out about having no date....and then was very happy later when she got a call for a date....from someone she just met on match.com! My own personal opinion is that one needs to learn to love oneself and be happy in one's own company before having a significant other. I have no date with my significant other this evening and I am very happy spending time with myself. :)
Ralph February 15, 2011 at 10:09 PM
Vanessa, I don't like to wear lace either. Ralph
Sara Chun August 22, 2011 at 06:00 PM
Haha I like your organic chem joke.
Vanessa Castañeda August 22, 2011 at 07:07 PM
(: Thanks!


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